The same place that is balm for my soul brings a biting sting to my heart. And probably yours too: the beach. The breezy relief on a hot summer day and the sand that grounds my feet in reality also makes me painfully aware of all that we’ve lost. If you have no idea what I’m describing then you’re extremely fortunate and very rare. For the rest of us, you know what I mean. And there’s someone who needs this today.
I am not at all actively grieving or walking through loss. I’ve done that and we’ve made a beautiful and full life in spite of it. It’s really good, and I live life with perspective I didn’t have before. Also true: the ache never goes away. Seeing the dad with kids the same age as mine will always be a reminder that my kids lost theirs. And the “empty nest” stage me and Chad were 
looking forward to will be empty in a way I never would’ve expected. That newborn baby under the tiny little hat is probably a stabbing reminder of grief to the woman who just lost hers in a miscarriage- or for the one who wonders if she’ll ever know the joy of motherhood. How about the sweet little sandy wedding happening near you? It probably guts your heart because you just signed divorce papers you never wanted, or it happened a while ago and you’re still walking the hard road of healing and now your weekends are shared co parenting instead of taking that bucket list family trip you planned together.
The couple holding hands hits you in the face with the reminder that you are still single- or single again- and you’re beginning to think you won’t ever find your person, and the hurt just keeps hurting…the child that’s the same age as the one you just buried? That’s heartbreak on a level that no parent should know.
Summer, and the beach in particular, has a way of showing us the loss we carry that no other place does because the world comes out to play in the sand and warm weather. In a way that hurts different from the holidays, what’s missing from our lives is now magnified by seeing it for someone else. And these are only some of the hard and heavy things we carry. The medical diagnosis. The risky surgery. The estranged child. The list is endless and it honestly feels like the weight of the pain might actually crush you at times. For some this is brand new and you’re just trying to do the next thing. For others it’s been a while and you’ve learned to live with the weight of sorrow, and maybe regret, while still living life. When it seems like you’re the only one in your close circle walking a really lonely road it can feel isolating. Whatever your timeline, please know that you are seen. I know it’s hard. You’re not alone. Your tears matter and your pain is valid.